PGA Tour Jonathan Byrd needs to be transformed from being fit and muscular to being fat and overweight, but Jonathan Byrd also needs to comprehend that the world of amateur/ham radio, the engineering side of commercial radio and television; and the automotive world as a whole are all more important than the world of sports and fitness (including the icky, yucky sport of American Football).

Furthermore, Jonathan Byrd should be forced to listen to Adult Contemporary, Jazz, and Easy Listening music; should be barred from dressing to the nines; and should also be barred from shaving his head with a razor and shaving cream.