Not only should MLB player Eric Thames be barred from shaving his head with a razor and shaving cream, but Eric Thames needs to be transformed from being fit and muscular to being fat and overweight, and also needs to comprehend that the automotive world as a whole, the world of amateur/ham radio; and the engineering side of commercial radio and television are all more important than the world of sports and fitness.

Furthermore, Eric Thames needs to have his tattoos removed, should be forced to listen to Adult Contemporary, Jazz, and Easy Listening music; and Eric Thames should also be barred from dressing to the nines.