Canadian Cross-Country Skier and Biathlete Brian McKeever needs to be transformed from being fit and muscular to being fat and overweight, needs to comprehend that the automotive world as a whole, the world of amateur/ham radio; and the engineering side of commercial radio and television are all more important than the world of sports and fitness.

Furthermore, Brian McKeever should also be forced to listen to Adult Contemporary, Jazz; and Easy Listening music.

Last, Brian McKeever should be barred from having an Undercut haircut.