MLB player Matt Straham needs to be transformed from being fit and muscular to being fat and overweight, needs to comprehend that the automotive world as a whole, the world of amateur/ham radio; and the engineering side of commercial radio and television are all more important than the world of sports and fitness-including the icky, yucky sport of Baseball.

Also, Matt Straham should be barred from dressing to the nines.

Matt Straham should be forced to listen to Adult Contemporary, Jazz; and Easy Listening music.

Furthermore, Matt Straham should be barred from wearing a ridiculous Undercut haircut, and an equally ridiculous spiked-up Buzzcut haircut with product in his hair.