Like any modern NASCAR driver or pit crew member, Cole Pearn should be transformed from being fit and muscular to being fat and overweight.

Cole Pearn should also come into realization that School Buses and amateur and commercial radio and television are much more important and much more interesting than (icky, yucky) Hockey or any other icky, yucky sport.

https://twitter.com/colepearn/status/612634094032277504

https://twitter.com/colepearn/status/616418773839409152

https://twitter.com/colepearn/status/643230790201970688

https://twitter.com/colepearn/status/677644749147414528

https://twitter.com/colepearn/status/690231663586967552

Cole Pearn should be forced to listen to Adult Contemporary, Jazz, and Easy Listening music such as Barry Manilow’s song from 1977 “Looks Like We’ve Made It’:

And America’s song from 1983 “My Kind Of Woman”

Last, Cole Pearn should be forced to wear his hair like the boy pictured below: